Father’s Day can evoke a mix of emotions, whether stemming from negative father experiences or noting the positive experiences that fill us with gratitude. In this post, we will explore how to navigate Father’s Day using the FUNCK process. We will delve into two scenarios: encompassing negative father experiences that challenge our willingness to be present with where we are and how we feel about Father’s Day (Scenario 1) and noting positive experiences that evoke gratitude and allow us to recognize what we “Get To” do, be, and know as a result of a supportive caregiver.

Scenario 1: Healing Negative Father Experiences

For those with challenging father experiences, the FUNCK process combined with BeMo Extra Steps of Imagined Future can guide the path to healing and envisioning a brighter future:

Example of Navigating Father’s Day with FUNCK

• F: "I feel overwhelmed by the weight of my past experiences. It’s important for me to acknowledge and process these emotions. I feel sadness about the pain I have endured and the impact it has had on my life. However, I also feel a glimmer of hope, knowing that healing is possible and that I have the strength to embark on this journey."
• U: "You are not alone in this journey. Healing takes time and patience. For now, it sucks and I am sorry. It will get better. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to heal at your own pace. You are strong and resilient, and I believe in your ability to overcome the pain of the past. You deserve love, happiness, and inner peace."
• N: "I have a need for belonging, growth, and self-care. It’s crucial for my well-being and personal development to prioritize myself and address these needs. By tending to my own healing, I can create a solid foundation for a brighter future."
• C: "To meet my need for belonging, growth, and self-care:
  • I can reach out to friends or loved ones and make plans that will be good for me.
  • I can go for a walk and explore a new street or a new trail.
  • I can do something creative like starting a new painting.
  • I can consider forgiving my father—writing him a note even if I will never send it to him.
  • I can practice self-compassion and self-love by embracing positive affirmations, practicing gratitude, and nurturing myself with acts of kindness and self-care.
  • I can explore new interests and communities by joining clubs, organizations, or attending local events that align with my passions."
• K: "I know that my past experiences do not define me or dictate my future. I know that I am conscious of who and how he was for me and that alone keeps me from being just like him. I know I did not deserve anything that happened to me. I know I deserved better. I know it is not my fault, and there’s nothing I could have done to make him be different with me. I know each step I take on this healing journey brings me closer to reclaiming my inner strength and finding peace within myself. I know that healing takes time, and I am committed to being patient and compassionate with myself throughout the process."

BeMo Extra: Imagined Future for Healing Negative Family Experiences

Envision an Imagined Future using all five senses to evoke the feelings and experiences you desire. Here is an example of an Imagined Future post written by one of our BeMo besties overcoming his estranged relationship with his birth father:

"In my future, I rise above the pain and struggle of an estranged and abusive relationship with my father, driven by my own strength and determination. It’s like breaking free from a heavy chain that held me down for far too long. I’m reclaiming my life, finding my own path of resilience and healing.

This journey feels empowering, like taking a deep breath after being underwater for too long. I can finally exhale and let go of the pain that used to weigh me down. I hear the sound of my own voice getting stronger, speaking my truth, and standing up for myself.

It’s a relief to know that I no longer have to carry the burden of that toxic relationship. My need for belonging and self-care is met by surrounding myself with a chosen family—those who truly understand and support me. They provide the love and acceptance I’ve always yearned for.

I’m building a life that reflects my values and priorities. It’s liberating to let go of the expectations and constraints that were imposed on me. I’m creating space for self-care practices that nurture my well-being and help me heal from the wounds of the past.

In this envisioned future, I embrace my own strength and rewrite my story. I’m no longer defined by the pain, but rather by the resilience and growth that come from overcoming it. The scars are reminders of my journey, showing me how far I’ve come and inspiring me to keep moving forward."

Scenario 2: Celebrating Positive Father Experiences with Gratitude and “I Get To”

For those with positive father experiences, you can still use the FUNCK process and combine it with BeMo Extra Steps of Gratitude and “I Get To” to amplify the celebration:

Example of a Positive Father’s Day

• F: "I feel immense gratitude and warmth when I reflect on the positive experience I had with my father. I feel joy, security, and appreciation from memories of his life and the bond we share."
• U: "You have been very lucky to have a father who was willing to make mistakes in front of you without making them your responsibility. He has grown alongside you and never criticized or pressured you. He has only been there for you, and as a result, you get to carry on that legacy."
• N: "My need for love, support, and belonging was wholeheartedly met by our relationship with my father because he created a safe space for us to grow, learn, and explore the world. My need for emotional understanding and well-being was met by his unwavering support, nurturing, and guidance. My need for help and a strong sense of self-worth was met each time he showed up for me, whether it was to help with homework or attend a game."
• C: "To celebrate Father’s Day and honor our amazing father:
  • I can spend quality time with him, engaging in activities that bring us joy and create lasting memories.
  • I can write a heartfelt letter expressing my gratitude and appreciation for his love, guidance, and positive influence.
  • I can plan a special outing or surprise that aligns with his interests or passions, showing him that I value and cherish his presence in my life.
  • I can reflect on the lessons and values he taught me, incorporating them into my own life as a way to carry forward his legacy.
  • I can express my love and gratitude through small gestures of kindness, such as cooking his favorite meal or gifting him something meaningful."
• K: "I know that my positive upbringing has equipped me with invaluable life lessons and qualities. I know that my father’s love and support have given me a strong foundation of love, resilience, and empathy. I know that I can carry forward these lessons and values and honor the bond we share with our father as I navigate my own journey through life."

Father’s Day provides an opportunity to navigate and embrace both negative and positive father experiences. By utilizing the FUNCK process and incorporating BeMo Extra Steps, we can heal from challenging experiences, envision a brighter future, and celebrate the positive impact of a caring and supportive father or father figure. Whether seeking healing or expressing gratitude, remember to be gentle with yourself and honor the unique experiences that have shaped you. Embrace the process, nurture self-compassion, and find solace, healing, and celebration on Father’s Day.