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The Polar Express Ride of Regression

The Polar Express Ride of Regression - BeMo Journal

The holiday season brings out a wide range of emotions, from joy and excitement to stress and even regression into old patterns. Many of us find ourselves feeling more vulnerable or reflective, bringing childhood experiences and memories back to the surface. Learning to handle holiday regression with grace can help us stay present and grounded.

Why the Holidays Bring Out Regressive Tendencies

Regression can sometimes feel necessary, offering us a chance to see life through a childlike lens. Revisiting this perspective can give us insights into our choices, actions, and reactions today.

However, holiday regression often feels intense because this season is steeped in powerful memories. For many, the holidays blend magical and challenging moments, making it easier to slip into emotional "time-travel." Recognizing when you’re experiencing this slingshot into the past can help you stay present with what’s happening right now.

What is Regression?

Regression is when we respond in childlike ways, often without realizing it. There’s a difference between intentionally embracing childlike wonder and unconsciously slipping into old emotional habits.

You might find yourself indulging in treats, holiday movies, and cozy comforts as a way to avoid stress. But when these indulgences become a way to numb yourself, they often lead to unresolved emotions resurfacing later on.

On the other hand, consciously enjoying these moments can create safe spaces to revisit and reframe childhood memories, allowing you to feel secure in the present. With awareness, you can enjoy childlike experiences—like building a fort or watching a holiday movie—knowing you’re grounded, safe, and able to handle what comes next.

How to Recognize When You’re Regressing

If you’re unsure whether you’re embracing joy or slipping into regressive behaviors, try to pause in moments of choice. Ask yourself, “Am I escaping or embracing?”

If you find that you’ve already drifted into old habits, it’s okay. Any moment is an opportunity to pause, breathe, and ask yourself why these feelings have come up. This awareness is a powerful first step toward handling holiday regression in a positive way.

Handling Holiday Regression

Being aware of regressive behaviors is essential to managing holiday regression effectively. Such behaviors often stem from unmet needs, stress, or past trauma, and they may look like knee-jerk reactions, competitive one-upping, or heated arguments.

Recognizing these behaviors as normal and temporary can help you avoid slipping into shame or blame. Slowing down and forgiving yourself for these moments can prevent them from spiraling into larger conflicts.

Holiday Regression in Parenting vs. Self-Renurturing

If you’re a parent, you’ve likely seen regression in your kids when they’re overstimulated or exhausted. How you respond to their behavior is a gift, teaching them about emotions and self-regulation.

Acknowledging your child’s feelings with phrases like, “It seems like you’re overwhelmed; maybe we should go home and rest,” can help validate their experience and give them healthy choices. This practice can be applied to your own regressive moments, too.

As an adult, it’s not always easy to notice our own regression. When feeling overwhelmed, past responses from caregivers—like “Grow up” or “Don’t be a baby”—can echo in our minds, influencing how we react. In these moments, familiar coping mechanisms rooted in the past can lead us to dismissive, anxious, or fearful responses.

Allow Yourself to “Time Travel” Safely

When you find yourself regressing, take a time-out. Try to ground yourself by recognizing where you are, even if it feels like you’re slipping back to being five years old. Pinpoint what about the present reminds you of a past experience. Are you feeling dismissed, unseen, or misunderstood?

Simply acknowledging why your mind has “time-traveled” can free you from having to repeat these patterns. Like a child repeatedly saying, “Look at me!” your inner child wants to be seen and understood. By being present and processing the emotions as they arise, you allow yourself to return to the present without emotional baggage.

Time Travel Gracefully

Even with awareness, you may find yourself pulled back into old emotions. Be patient with yourself. Notice if it feels different this time.

Maybe you’re seeing new details about past experiences, allowing you to meet your inner child’s needs with greater understanding. Or perhaps you’re surprised by the trigger, signaling growth and a decrease in bracing for negativity.

Embrace these signs of progress, allowing each experience to show you how far you’ve come in handling holiday regression.

BeMo About It

When these patterns arise, take time to journal about them in your BeMo Journal. Work through the FUNCK for both present and past experiences. Document your feelings, identify any unmet needs, and note the choices you have now to meet those needs.

Reflect on what you care about and ground yourself in what you’ve learned. At the end of this process, remind yourself: you’re here, safe, and able to show up for yourself. Journaling can be a powerful way to recognize, release, and move forward.

Welcome back to the present moment—empowered, whole, and here for yourself.

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