When your needs seem to keep repeating, it’s an opportunity to dig deeper and Renurture the past. Instead of simply addressing the surface, take this moment to explore what’s truly going on beneath.

Moving Beyond the Surface

Ask yourself:

• How does it make you feel to continually have this need?
• Why do you think this need keeps repeating?
• Are you effectively meeting this need for yourself – if not, is it what you really need?

Consider Your Attachment Style

Understanding your attachment style can help you unravel why this need keeps showing up:

Avoidant Attachment

• Are you avoiding meeting your need?
• Consider the choices you’ve been making—analyze them backwards: What need have you been fulfilling instead?
• Is this a space you stay in because it feels safe or familiar, rooted in an old pattern from your past?
• Or are you avoiding unearthing a deeper need here?

Fearful/Disorganized Attachment

• Do you feel conflicted about meeting this need?
• Do you find yourself oscillating between wanting to fulfill it and pushing it away?
• What deeper fear or belief might be stopping you from embracing this need fully?
• Are you stuck in an old story where meeting this need felt dangerous or uncertain?

Anxious/Preoccupied Attachment

• Are you seeking to have this need met by others rather than yourself?
• Do you feel that your value or security depends on others fulfilling this need?
• What beliefs or fears arise when this need goes unmet?
• Is there a pattern where you’ve tied your sense of worth or safety to others meeting this need?

Renurturing: Advancing Your BeMo Practice

The Advanced BeMo Practice is about allowing your unconscious to become subconscious and your subconscious to become conscious. This means allowing past experiences to surface when your mind and body are ready to reveal them.

Our minds often repeat narratives because we haven’t yet addressed the trauma or neglect tied to them. Our job is not to force healing but to create emotional safety. Forcing a narrative can lead to your mind-body retreating further into hiding, away from conscious awareness, in an attempt to protect you.

To apply more stress to wanting to heal is to fall back into an old belief system (BS) that doesn’t serve you because it’s "need to" based. Remember, you don't need TO do anything. Your role is to create a space for the "need for" behind your feelings to emerge.

Advancing Your Practice: When Ready, Ask Yourself

• What is a recent memory of not getting this need met by others?
• What is my earliest memory of not having this need met?

Additional Renurturing Questions to Explore

• When was the first time I felt this need go unmet? How did it shape my beliefs about myself or others?
• What feelings come up when I imagine meeting this need for myself without relying on others?
• If I met this need for myself, how would it change my interactions with others?
• What belief about myself am I holding onto that keeps this need repeating?
• How would it feel to let go of the expectation that others must fulfill this need?
• What positive qualities can I develop in myself to start meeting this need?
• How have I seen others fulfill this need for themselves? What can I learn from them?
• What would it look like to show up for myself the way I wish others would show up for me?

By working through these questions, you can begin to Renurture the parts of yourself that need attention and care. This journey isn’t about rushing to fix something—it’s about creating the emotional safety needed to allow your true needs to emerge, be seen, and be honored.