The holiday season can be a bittersweet time, especially if you’re missing loved ones. The world around us may be celebrating, but for many, this season also brings memories of those we’ve lost, reminding us of past holidays shared together.
Rather than trying to avoid feelings of grief and loss, consider a gentle journaling practice to honor those memories and allow yourself the space to feel and heal. Let’s explore ways to approach holiday grief with compassion and intention.
Write a Tribute to Connect with Memories
One way to honor someone’s memory is to write a tribute to them. This doesn’t need to be formal or complicated—just a space in your journal to remember them. Write about favorite memories, their unique traits, lessons they taught you, or even a cherished holiday moment you shared.
One of my favorite memories from retreats I’ve been invited to this year is how a woman used our guided BeMo Practice session to write a letter to her husband who had recently passed away. She said she didn’t have that intention initially, but the way that the retreat guided her thoughts to create a safe space for her feelings meant that it just bubbled to the surface. Her letter was beautiful and deeply felt by all who were lucky to witness her emotional release.
Let yourself reconnect with their presence through words, allowing your feelings to flow without judgment. This tribute can be a reminder that even if they’re not physically with you, their impact and love remain.
Reflect on Shared Traditions and Their Meaning
The holidays are often filled with traditions—some that may feel different in their absence. Take time to journal about any holiday traditions you shared. What made those moments special? Is there a part of a tradition you’d like to keep or adapt as a way of honoring them?
Allow yourself the freedom to continue, pause, or recreate these traditions. By reflecting on what they meant to both of you, you can bring them into the present in a way that feels personal and comforting.
Hold Space for Both Grief and Joy
It’s natural to feel conflicting emotions during the holidays. Remember, it’s okay to feel both grief and joy simultaneously. Your journal can be a space where both emotions are valid—without needing to choose one over the other. Let yourself write freely about moments that bring you happiness as well as those that bring tears.
Why hold space for both? Grief and joy are both expressions of love, and allowing them to coexist can be surprisingly healing. When we make space for both, we acknowledge that while life changes, the love we felt and the happiness we shared continue to be a part of us. Embracing both grief and joy allows you to experience a balanced holiday, honoring your loss and celebrating what remains.
How to hold space: This isn’t about pushing yourself to “move on” or forcing joy to cover up sadness. Instead, invite your feelings to be companions rather than opposites. Write about a joyful holiday memory, then allow yourself to sit with any sadness that may accompany it. Be honest about how these memories make you feel without judging yourself for feeling both deeply.
This practice can remind you that grief and joy can coexist, often leading to a sense of peace and acceptance. Embracing both allows you to honor your feelings fully, making space for a balanced experience this season.
Embrace Your Holiday Journey with Compassion
As you move through the holidays, let your journal be a gentle companion, holding the memories, the traditions, and the mixture of emotions that come with remembering those who were part of these moments with you. By creating space for your grief, you make room for joy, too—allowing your holiday to be a personal journey, filled with compassion, memory, and meaning.
Honor your loved ones this season by allowing grief to be a meaningful part of your holiday experience.
