A safety plan is a document that outlines the steps to be taken in an emergency or crisis situation to prevent harm or injury to individuals involved. A safety plan is like a secret weapon against the villains of addiction, codependent relationships, self-harm, and even suicide. Creating a safety plan is meant to help you do it differently. It is a treasure map that leads to pattern interrupt that helps people stay away from an abusive habit (such as a variety of addictions – eating disorders, drugs, alcohol, etc.) or person (enmeshment, abuse, or self-harm).

A safety plan is a powerful tool if you’re struggling with something that’s not good for you or prone to wanting to make drastic decisions in the middle of a HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) situation. It’s like a secret note-to-self to keep you grounded when you’re on the verge of making a bad decision. By creating a safety plan, you’re taking a proactive step toward your mental health and well-being.

A safety plan typically includes specific actions to take in order to mitigate risk and protect oneself and others. It may include contact information for emergency services, instructions for how to get to a safe location, a list of trusted individuals who can be contacted for support, and coping strategies for managing stress and anxiety during a crisis.

A safety plan is often created collaboratively with a mental health professional, social worker, or other trained professional who can provide guidance and support. It is an important tool for promoting safety and reducing risk in potentially dangerous situations. However, we don’t always have access to these professionals for a variety of reasons – something that BeMo is well aware of and is one of the primary reasons why we’ve created The BeMo Practice as a self-therapy tool. In this post, we’re going to be our own therapists and allow The BeMo Practice to guide us through the necessary structure to build a safety plan that will work for our situation.

Before we start, honor yourself.

I know it’s not always easy to talk about these things. If you’re reading this and you relate, thank you for your bravery in being here. It takes courage to confront these challenges and seek help. Let’s work on this together.

Check Your BS at the Door

If you’re reading this and putting up assumptions about what it means to be in this situation (whether you are one in this situation or want to support someone in it), challenge that BS (belief system). It is everyone’s INTRINSIC RIGHT to be SAFE! Cultural BS (belief system) lead us to believe that if someone is continually unsafe, they set it up that way and must be (a variety of BS fill-in-the-blank assumptions). Drop that storyline. NOW.

Safety is a core need. Unsafety is a core trigger.

Truth is, we all feel a level of unsafe. A feeling of lack of safety is at the core of every trigger. If you find yourself reacting – whether it is road rage or a tried-and-true excuse that the dog ate your homework – you are likely in a position that feels threatening to you. Through your BeMo Practice, you can bravely ask why until you add more to your Know-ing. For now, we’re going to talk about how to create a Safety Plan with The BeMo Practice.

Allow Brain Dump To Be Heard However It Shows Up

Wondering what to do with Step 1 of The BeMo Practice? We often don’t get too into the details of Step 1 because of the personal nature of leaving it all on the page. In this case, your Brain Dump can be summarized as an incredibly overwhelming situation that often feels familiar, repeated, and increasingly triggering. Your Brain Dump is incredibly important, but if you find yourself unable to let the overwhelm free flow, start with a problem statement before moving through the FUNCK. If you then find yourself starting to free-flow a storyline alongside your expressed feelings – allow it!

Let’s move forward and create a Safety Plan that you can keep with you for similar situations that feel spiraling and unsafe.

Below is an excerpt example of a Safety Plan I created for myself based on a difficult situation I was experiencing in my own blog post. In this example, I created a Safety Plan to help me get through serious insomnia that was causing increasing panic and threat to my well-being.

An example of Using FUNCK to Create a Safety Plan:

Use The BeMo Practice Guide at the front of your BeMo Journal to follow along and create a plan for your situation.

When I am Feeling: overwhelmed, spiraling, out of control, victimized, defensive, panicked, and hysterical or reactive…

Remember, You have survived this before. You have so much Know-ing about this situation and why it is happening. You are capable of getting through this. You are not alone. You have people you can call. You have someone to rely on. You are going to be ok. you have a plan!

I Need safety. Fulfilling this need looks and feels calm, understood, seen, heard, and comforted.

To fulfill the need for safety, calmness, understanding, and comfort, I Can…

*Note: I like to repeat "I can" with every sentence because it feels more empowering and constantly reminds me of what I am capable of and my choices.

• I can express my need immediately and as calmly to anyone I am with.
• I can try to get out of bed to mentally reset the stage, even if it is just on the floor next to the bed.
• I can try to color, read, or return to my BeMo and write more.
• I can rest my head on my knee and concentrate on my breathing.
• I can try counting backward from 1,000 or do a full body scan meditation to calm the spiral.
• I can add more calming things to my Sleep Kit and night routine, such as a new sleep mask or headband, a specific smell in the room, nighttime medication tools, and a very calm and soothing light.
• I can repeat affirmations of safety and add Know-ing to my affirmations. “I Know I am safe because…”
• I can use more energetic daytime hours to find more understanding in my spirals and fears so I face them when I am more capable and feel strength. This helps free me from overthinking anything at night and trying to force my way through it in desperation.
• I can revisit online communities that center around these experiences in order to feel joined and be able to pay it forward.
• I can call my therapist or at least make sure that I am meeting with him weekly while I go through this.
• I can share my Safety Plan with my partner, so he knows my needs when I cannot communicate them.

Your list of Cans creates the Safety Plan to help combat the spiraling, immediate rush of feelings in a situation that feels out of control.  Please be sure to add to your Can list a list of who you can call.  For example, I can call the Suicide Hotline by dialing 988.

I Know I have a tendency to alienate myself when things feel really hard in order to gain control and feel like I will survive this, and that can lead to quick, panicked reactions, blame, and resentment, so in order to overcome this, I can communicate clearly with others beforehand when I am not in a spiral.

I Know it is important that I surround myself with people that I fully trust.

I Know I am not alone in this.

I Know I have survived similar situations and will be able to get through this by staying grounded in what I Know.

I use a Simple Summary for my Positives List when things feel like they can’t be worse and the idea of writing a long list of Positives feels overwhelming.  

Using a Simple Summary for Positives  

To do a Simple Summary exercise, answer these three questions:

• What are you most grateful for today?
• What was your favorite part of today?
• What do you most look forward to in the future?

In times of dire need and hopeless feelings, these three questions can feel challenging enough, but they bring the right perspective without feeling as daunting as filling a page with Positives, Gratitude, or “I Get To” lists.

Here’s an example of my Simple Summary:

Today, I am most grateful for all that I have added to my Know-ing that has allowed me to even consider this final frontier of healing.

My most favorite part of today is going on long and healing walks with my family – seeing the ear-to-ear smile on my puppy’s face and holding hands with my husband while we go as far as I am willing to go, as slowly as I need. This brings a presence to my life and helps me sleep more calmly when I get there.

I most look forward to getting through this because I know I will, and I know I can.