In the realm of relationships—be it familial, platonic, or romantic—the mindfulness we bring to our Feelings and Needs significantly shapes our interactions and connections. The BeMo Practice, with its insightful "I Get To" exercise, offers a transformative approach to reframing our perspective towards relationships.  The "I Get To" practice is deeply rooted in cognitive reframing techniques. This practice is a vital part of The BeMo Extras, enriching the comprehensive BeMo Practice Guide included in every BeMo Journal.

The Impact of Past Relationships on Present Beliefs

Our past relationships - family, friends, and more - intricately influence our current relationship dynamics, molding our beliefs and expectations. Acknowledging this, cognitive reframing emerges as a crucial step in reshaping limiting beliefs and revealing our ingrained thoughts and behaviors - moving us away from negative connotations associated with relationships and towards a more positive, growth-oriented mindset.

Navigating Relationship Dynamics with The BeMo Practice

The BeMo Practice, particularly through the FUNCK process, acts as a beacon, guiding individuals through the often tumultuous waters of relationship dynamics. This journey emphasizes personal responsibility for emotional regulation and self-awareness, distinguishing it from attributing blame or requiring others to navigate their path of self-discovery.

The "I Get To" Practice: A Catalyst for Positive Change

The "I Get To" exercise serves as a powerful tool for rekindling relationships, fostering gratitude, and transforming resentment into understanding and empathy. This practice shifts the narrative from stagnation and skepticism to one of hopefulness and empowered positivity allowing for a more gratitude-filled approach to relationships.

Getting Started: Embracing the 'I Get To' Mindset

Advancing your BeMo Practice to unearth limiting belief systems (BS) will allow for the deepest level of healing.  Utilizing the "I Get To" practice is a great to start realizing the limiting beliefs that exist in your subconscious and come between you and your relationships with others. 

To utilize "I Get To" as a cognitive reframing tool:

1. Identify Negative Beliefs: Recognize and address the "always/never" hyperbolic statements that damage relationships, moving towards compassionate and loving communication.

2. Transform Perspectives: Transition from "have to" obligations to "get to" opportunities, allowing a shift in perspective that encourages gratitude and appreciation in daily interactions.

Examples of The 'I Get To' Practice in Action

Whether rekindling an old friendship, appreciating a colleague, or igniting romance, the "I Get To" practice reframes your perspective, highlighting the opportunities for growth and connection in every interaction.

Example 1: From Resentment to Compassion

In relationships where feelings of lovelessness prevail, leading to sentiments of "I am loveless" and "You are against me," resentment can become a heavy burden. This sense of being unseen and unknown often culminates in a cycle of blame and shame, where statements like "you never" or "I always have to" dominate the discourse. The "I Get To" practice offers a pathway out of this cycle, encouraging a transformative shift towards empathy and understanding.

Cognitive reframing with "I Get To" is not about denying the challenges or overlooking the feelings of neglect; instead, it's about choosing to view these situations through a lens of gratitude and opportunity. It's about recognizing the power we hold to reshape our narrative and response to the dynamics within our relationships.

Consider these transformative affirmations as examples of shifting from a stance of resentment to one of compassion and understanding:

• Original: "You never do the dishes. I always have to clean up after you."

  • I Get To: "I get to create a clean and welcoming environment in our home, which brings me peace and satisfaction."

• Original: "You’re never around. I’m constantly taking care of the kids by myself!"

  • I Get To: "I get to spend precious one-on-one time with our kids, witnessing their growth and cherishing these moments that will become treasured memories."

• Original: "I did all this work for you, and you didn’t even thank me!"

  • I Get To: "I get to express love and care through my actions, contributing to our well-being and happiness, and finding joy in the giving itself."

Adopting the "I Get To" mindset allows us to focus on the positive aspects of our actions and interactions, fostering a sense of personal empowerment. It encourages us to approach the daily dynamics of our relationships with a more appreciative and empathetic mindset, transforming potential resentment into pathways for compassion and understanding.

Example 2: Celebrating Love and Hope

In the landscape of relationships that are flourishing, the "I Get To" practice serves as a powerful amplifier for the positive emotions already present. It's about recognizing and savoring the moments of joy, connection, and love that permeate your interactions, and consciously reinforcing these sentiments in your daily life.

When your relationship basks in the light of positivity, each "I Get To" statement becomes a celebration, a token of gratitude for the beauty and joy you've cultivated together. This practice not only acknowledges the good times but also solidifies them as foundational aspects of your relationship, ready to be revisited in times of need.

Consider these examples as ways to celebrate and reinforce the positive dynamics within your relationships:

• Original: "We had a fantastic conversation that left me feeling closer to you."

  • I Get To: "I get to engage in meaningful conversations that deepen our bond and understanding of each other."

• Original: "We shared a lot of laughs during our last outing."

  • I Get To: "I get to experience the light-heartedness and joy that come from truly being ourselves together."

• Original: "You supported me through a challenging time, and I felt so loved."

  • I Get To: "I get to cherish the strength and support we provide each other, knowing we're there for one another no matter what."

• Original: "We tried something new together, and it was exhilarating."

  • I Get To: "I get to explore new adventures and experiences with you, each one adding a new layer to our story."

These affirmations celebrate the shared experiences and emotions that define the positive aspects of your relationship. By framing your interactions in terms of "I Get To," you consciously choose to focus on the abundance of love and joy present in your life, reinforcing the foundation of hope and positivity that supports your relationship.

Incorporating the "I Get To" practice into your relationship routine allows you to not just passively experience these positive moments but to actively recognize and appreciate them, making them integral parts of your shared journey. This intentional celebration of love and hope serves as a powerful reminder of the beauty you've created together and the endless potential for growth and happiness that lies ahead.

Fostering Meaningful Connections with The BeMo Practice

The BeMo Practice, through exercises like the "I Get To" practice, offers a pathway to not just improving relationships but transforming the way we perceive and engage with those around us. It's about shifting from a mindset of obligation to one of opportunity, where every interaction becomes a chance to foster deeper connections and enrich our relational landscape.

For those looking to deepen their understanding and practice, The BeMo Practice Guide, available with every BeMo Journal, serves as an invaluable resource. Dive into the world of mindful relationship building and discover the profound impact of the "I Get To" practice on your journey towards personal growth and relational fulfillment.