The holiday season can bring a variety of feelings. Whether we’re overwhelmed by activity or an overwhelming fear of not having enough distraction, this time of year can feel like it gets the best of us.

Why does this happen? That knee-jerk reaction of overwhelmed feelings throughout the holidays comes from too many all-too-familiar feelings – the very definition of post-traumatic stress.

Maybe you feel absolute joy and excitement, but the subconscious memory of disappointment or being knocked down a peg by those around you who weren’t as cheerful has you coming in like a wrecking ball to your sense of joy.

Maybe you fear that not enough is happening, the little lights aren’t twinkling, and all is anything but well because you’ve had one too many experiences of “not being good enough” being the emotional truth of the season.

I relate to both. Deeply.

Before you start working to figure out why you are traveling back in time, try giving yourself the GIFT of Presence.

Gratitude

Intention

Feeling

Time

Gratitude

Take a moment to be grateful. If you’re struggling to find gratitude in the midst of emotional triggers, count to five… senses! Ask yourself to note what you see, hear, taste, smell, and touch before you tap into that sixth sense of what you are feeling.

Intention

Someone saying, “It’s the thought that counts,” can feel triggering. So, be mindful of your thoughts and intentions. You do not have control over what others’ thoughts and intentions are. Let them be. That’s them. This is you. You can take the time you need to deliver your words, plan your time, or give of gift with POSITIVE intention. Try to be mindful that gifts don’t just come in boxes. Your reactions and interactions are all gifts you give. Give a gift of positive intention.

Feeling

You are not responsible for how others feel or for making others feel better. You are only responsible for noting how you feel and meeting your own needs at that moment. Give yourself the gift of being present with your feelings. By stepping away from the moments and relationships that do not serve you, you will allow yourself to show up for yourself with more positivity and grace. By showing up for yourself, you’ll be able to shine your light on others who recognize YOU are a gift. Do not let others steal your gifts of practicing joy and presence.

Time

Take time for yourself and choose how you spend your time with others. Do not give away time in a way that leaves you feeling depleted and stressed. You do not have to FOMO the season. Try to be mindful that if you pack in the season so you don’t miss a thing, in the end, you’ll feel as though you’ve missed everything. It is important to be mindful of the moment. Take time to really taste that cinnamon tea and watch the snow fly. Choose how you spend time with others. The time you give is a gift.

The gifts that wind up under the tree or around the menorah are not always the gifts we remember. Do you remember the exact year you received that puffy silver jacket you always wanted? (1990-something, undoubtedly). We remember the gifts given with gratitude, intention, feeling, and time. What we remember are the unplanned moments – the spontaneous time spent.

So next time you’re playing holiday bingo and expecting the worst to continue to throw a wrench in your season because you’ve broken an heirloom, missed out on a gift you wanted to give, gotten in a car wreck, and find yourself stuck in snowy traffic, remember it is ALL part of the gift of the season. You and those you share the moment with are far more likely to remember, oh, what fun you had during that traffic jam or the moment someone else slid into your car than what new video game appeared in their stocking that year.

Choose the GIFTS you give.