New Year's Scaries: Navigating Time, Change, and Expectations

Dealing with New Year’s Scaries - BeMo Journal

I used to think that “New Year’s Scaries” were somehow extra for me. I don’t have the best memories associated with New Year’s Eve, so I am not the person ringing in another year at a party. Before I even remember to write the date correctly, I’m counting on my fingers to figure out how old I am. The 1-2 punch of being another year older with another year gone comes with a great deal of pressure, as if the Universe is like, “Hey you! The time has changed, have you?”

The truth is, New Year’s has always been complicated. Even when I was excited to finally be another year older and proud to be another inch taller. As a kid, the concept of time was barely noticeable. The worst part about New Year’s was that there were still 358 days until Christmas! As a teen, the idea of the New Year’s kiss left me sweaty-palmed, ringing in another year of being entirely unsure of myself or what I wanted to happen.

Eventually, your New Year’s kiss is less “am I going to get one?” and more “am I going to be awake still?” Still, that clock strikes 12, and somehow, we’re programmed to believe ends are the worst, beginnings are scary AF, and whatever we’re doing at that moment is already not good enough for the expectations we set for ourselves. Lock in the kiss! Stay awake! You don’t even remember what your New Year’s Resolution was until the day you’ve missed it! In many ways, it is all the same.

Ultimately, my New Year’s memories and fears are not entirely different from anyone else nor very different from when I was 15. There’s an overarching sense of life ending too soon, even if what is happening now will be remembered by next New Year’s Eve.

There are so many pressures of time. There are the years we believe “this is it” because we’ve done our time and served our penance with so many bad days that we’ve convinced ourselves we’ve “earned” something greater by suffering the deepest, darkest, worst days of our lives. Maybe we’re coming out of what will remain the most challenging years of our lives. Yet, we are in an almost romantic state of hopefulness as if to say “bring it” to a new year. Then there are the years that go smoothly, and we don’t even recognize them because we’re left quantifying the change with what we didn’t do.

No matter what the scenario was, we were off-sides with ourselves. The worst part is that we’re subconsciously taking count. The New Year is under more pressure than Santa to provide precisely what you expect. We forgive and forget we didn’t get what we wanted for Christmas. Yet, we chalk each year up to “Mmm hmm, nope, I’ve had high hopes for 13.2 years and been disappointed 7.3 of them; therefore, statistically, I am over it.” Suddenly, we are all expert statisticians.

Truth is, whether you’re team endings or team beginnings, January 1 is just another day. Every day is the chance to end or begin whatever you choose is best for you.

Count Your BS-ings vs. Count Your Blessings

If you’re feeling anxious about the New Year, count your BS-ings at the door. Anxious feelings may look like nervous excitement, guilt, or shame around resolutions, worry about what the year will surprise you with, or a lack of energy around hope.

Belief Systems (BS) come in all shapes and sizes. While a great deal of the BS we learn and understand for ourselves comes from caregivers, society at large is also responsible for creating cultural norms that are… well… BS. The ancient Babylonians are said to have been the first to make New Year’s resolutions some 4,000 years ago. So, put it on them. This BS is their FUNCKing fault. All joking aside, regardless of who started it, what sucks is that you’re the one left dealing with it.

Undo a recipe for disaster. Take note of the BS you’re subconsciously subscribing to. Dare to ask yourself where you’ve heard these words before. Who has said this to you or led you to have these beliefs to begin with? What messages did you receive from caregivers, your community, or society?

Have a FUNCK about it. Use your BeMo Journal to Brain Dump the Journal Prompt: What are your hopes and worries about 2023? Then, use your BeMo Guide to work through the FUNCK.

If you’re feeling secure about the New Year, count your blessings. Secure feelings regarding the new year looks like you care about what will happen – you’re connected to it. You want to do your best, but you aren

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published

Blog posts

BeMo Blossoms: Spring 2024 Update

BeMo Blossoms: Spring 2024 Update

Discover the spring updates from BeMo! Explore new aromatherapy products, indulge in our expanded line of coffees, teas, and chocolates, and celebrate graduates with our transformative BeMo Starter Kit. Join...